A Fun Life vs. A Full Life

The day you are born you start the journey of life until the day you die. The bits in-between are messy. We don't control the events and people around us. We only can influence how we react. Sometimes we react well. Sometimes we don't. Our challenge is to remain aware of our thoughts, emotions and actions during the seasons full of joy and equally important during the seasons of acute pain and suffering. 

The Work never Stops

Living life to the fullest means to put in the work to mature while fully accepting we are invited to this process until the day we die. Even when we have found our purpose, life will go on and we will always find ourselves confronted with new problems. We won’t really arrive. Our call is to make the most of it.

No Full Life without Love

Living life to the fullest cannot be a self-centered life because that would mean we miss out on love. We give and receive love. We love ourselves and others. That kind of love is not an emotion or based on feelings. It is love based on a decision to love. Only taking love and only loving ourselves deprives us of the other half of that equation.

No Full Life without Pain

Suffering is an inevitable part of life. Spending our energy on avoiding pain means to retreat from life. On the contrary, how we handle adversity opens doors to mature into ourselves. The work to learn who we are is an opportunity to reimagine success — truly making it our own. 
In the west we are taught to pursue happiness. In our pursuit of happiness — which too often is confused with a permanent state of being happy — we push away suffering and with it grief. Suffering and grief are to be avoided. The underlying problem is we set ourselves an impossible task. We cannot avoid things that make us suffer. Suffering is a reality of life. In our attempts to avoid suffering we are avoiding life. We avoid life and deny us the opportunity to get to know ourselves. Perhaps that is one underlying factor for some people. They do not want to be confronted with themselves.

A Fun Life vs a Full Life

When people say they want life to the fullest, I wonder whether they really ask for a fun filed adventure ride. A true adventure is only an adventure when it comes with true risks. Life is only full when we embrace the unescapable suffering which we cannot remove from it. Our choice is to cry and scream through it or spending precious energy trying to run away. If we choose suffering or rather choose against trying to scheme to avoid suffering, along the way, we learn who our friends are. We mature and grow. Our perspectives will be shaped by real substance. With substance comes authority and with authority comes impact.

Well-Being or the Escape to the Spa?

When people say, they want to focus on well-being, I wonder whether they really want a day in a spa. That has its place. However, well-being in any form or shape, be it emotional or physical, requires hard work. The long weekend to a healthy living spa retreat is great to build momentum. If we want to maintain that momentum, the real work starts on day four after we have returned to our normal lives. Well-being is more than getting our bodies into shape, and I am not necessarily referring to getting a six-pack. It is more about not doing harmful things to our body in the form of substance abuse, too much food, too much of the wrong food, too much alcohol, etc. Unless we also address our psychological well-being, we will only arrive at an incomplete state of well-being. In many cases, a body can only stay healthy for so long if the mind is not being taken care of.

Taking Breaks — From What?

When people say, they need a break to find themselves, preferably while on a trip abroad, I wonder whether they really want a break from themselves. I have certainly experienced how living abroad and in a culture different to my own has confronted me with long held believes and has made me question them. That is living and working abroad though with a normal life and all its every day challenges from traffic jams in New York to maneuvering the health care system in the UK and finding myself as a trailing male spouse in Singapore at a time when that was not really a thing. I am having a hard time to see a change of scenery being the driving factor on someone’s quest to find themselves.

Like many people, I get tired of problems and challenges and I’d rather avoid pain. Many times, all I want is fun and I am too lazy to go deep. I want to chill and yes, I would love to be able to run away from myself. More often than not, I am clinging to Christ despite and not because. 

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